There are People who shatter your conceptions of who they are and confuse you; dance with the devil by the sounds

I know one of these people, and while I have always believed myself to be this, it's weird when you reaffirm it. Maybe I just want to feel special, or maybe I know that I am. It's probably both. But, you assume about people, you see what's inside and you assume they then make certain decisions because of it, and you feel bad because you think you see where they are going wrong, then, you realize they are doing it right, they're doing it the way you said they should. And they still get hurt, they still are struggling and it's not really their fault, because their smart, they do the best they can, and they still lose. I like these people too much. This is a reason I get hurt. But I'm one of these people, I don't even understand myself sometimes. I assume about myself and then I realize I'm wrong, and then it fits. Why I'm this way, partially. Right now, this is about me being constantly bothered by the fact that I seem to only be able to make good friends with girls, but I'm nor a player or anything. I keep wondering why I can't seem to make good guy friends. I think sometimes people draw too much from that. And then it hit me, oh yeah, I have had guy friends. I had lots of them, in elementary school and middle school. And they were all jerks, manipulators, and too self-absorbed. Then I got betrayed by a good group of guy friends. Then, I grew to resent my other friends. I made friends with with 2 girls in 8th grade, and they were good, they didn't want anything out of the friendship, except friendship. I guess since I only ever had bad experiences with guy friends, and good experiences with girlish friends, that's how I went. I think it's because I'm too sensitive, I get hurt too easily, and I hate being on the bottom wrung of a friendship. Well, I had an amazing day today, I got to sleep in, though difficult, I managed it, I went up to Murray to visit an old gold friend, hey, I just realized, he's a guy, but then again we only see each other every few months, maybe we wouldn't be such good friends if we were together all the time, he lives in Arizona but his family gets to fly free on south-west. Then I came home and watched arrested development with my cousin. She went with her friends so I finally got around to fixing the bike and rode it for 4 hours. I used to ride everywhere in Alaska, at least 8 miles a day, back from work. Now, it's too hot in the day, so I go at night, the beat time to go anyways. It was awesome, I get so much pleasure out of it, I feel accomplished from the exercise, I can listen to music and let my mind wander, I get to see the area, and I can actually go to sleep when I get back. . . sometimes. . . well, I have stuff going on in my life again, I think I'll be better when school starts again, I have a doctors appointment Monday, I'll probably be getting new medication, that'll hopefully be good, most likely it'll be a trainwreck like before thoughh.