Ugh (possibly part 3)

I believe this is the third ugh. But not entirely sure. So, ive pretty much always identifies myself as my mothers son, not so mug my fathers, not that i disassociate myself with him, it's just, I had the idea that I was born to my mother, rather than to my father, ya get it? Well, I pretty much am my father. . . I've been in denial of it for years, but that only goes for so long. . . I really think the only difference between him, and me in 20 years is that I know more, I'm smarter, and I'm nowhere near as hard of a worker as he is. It honestly boggles my mind how he can go on with the life he has had, not with the pain, but with the constant beatdowns life has given him. He's far from perfect, but I dont know anyone as strong as him in his ability to keep pressin on with all of his strength no matter what hand life deals him, and it's always been a crappy one. As his only son, I obviously have a lot of pressure, from everyone else and especially from myself. . . So this is the cause for many problems in y life, but, I don't know where I would be if I had the ability to give up on myself, despite wherever I am, I can ever help but try to make it better when I can. I'm not the strongest, wisest, or bravest person. But I can see that I can one day become a man that rivals my father, I'm sad to see the life he had to live, bein the person he is, and, I can see how amazing of a life he would have had I'd he had grown up in the right kind of home, but, none of us really did. No one in my family at least, well. . . I guess we'll see where I take this life. . .