(~_~;)

Last night,(Saturday night), was Priesthood session of General Conference. It's a time for the men, young and old, to listen to the counsel of the prophet and learn from the Spirit. I was so lonely. I went to a random stake building by my house, I wasn't lonely because I didn't know anybody, I've never actually gone to a local stake for Priesthood sessions before. I was lonely because the one man who should have been there was not. Nothing new, same man who wasn't there for me for a lot of occasions, he had priorities and I never really made the cut, I've dealt with it fine, but for some reason it really hit me, all of it, the pain, the anger, the loss. This wasn't my regular "loneliness", which is usually a variation of boredom, but an actual longing for the fatherhood I never properly had. I'm fine now, I'm just mad at myself for not knowing I still had issues with that.