It's too late to find another way, sweet Josephine will you follow me home

Seems like everybody's crap started in junior high, at least, that's what they say, seems like it was a rough time for a lot of people, so where was I? I was cradled, happy, protected from all that . . . business. I think instead of gOing troughs the 'normal' troubles of junior high, I was stuck with my own. . . What would I call it? Melancholy, maybe? Well, I'm grateful for that. Philosophy, my new teacher told me, in a nice way, I was looking for problems just to look for problems. He was right, I recognize I'm pretty critical, but I'm fine with that, I'm not too vocal about it unless I can prove any of my ideas. Right now, the really a struggle for me to stay this. . . normalish right now, I'm really being Pulled back into where I've been the past few days. I actually feel really bad because I kinda freaked out on my cousin lat night at Maceys. I didn't notice but my mom said she was really worried by it. When she said it I got furious again, I hate hate hate when people are afraid of me. Probably ironically I get super pissed by it. I shouldn't be feared, I'm the one afraid. I'm also worried because I've been getting closer and closer to my breaking point. Moving back to Alaska, I keep telling myself it's only one more semester of High School, but it seems like the closer it gets, the harder it is to stay. It's not that bad all the time, but I've gotten close to leaving a couple times now. . . My cousins going to East Shore now, it's an independent study school, so I just see her at home. That's okay, we figured out soon after she moved in that we need to keep our distance at times. I started hanging out with Lisa now that she's moved back, well, I've gone to her house twice, once for Kayelee's Minecraft party, so I guess we've only really hung out once since she got back. I don't want to go now, but i really should, I've just been rambling the whole time. . . Bye then